Courage

Day 2 – Saying YES to STANDING UP FOR ME

Everything I’ve experienced in the past decade could fall under the heading of “reinvention” and if there was a defining moment that set me on that path it would be the following…

In the spring of 2004 my Houston consultant gave her resignation because she was moving too far away to commute. I called my client to request a meeting so I could share the news (they loved our consultant) but they were not interested in meeting with me. I soon learned that they were doing everything they could to undo the relationship we can created. So I shared the news via email.

The next day my client called our office to speak to our consultant and my intuition told me to sit in the office when she took the call. And he did what I suspected. He tried to hire her and it just shattered me. Even though I had mentioned my hunch to my HR consultant two weeks prior it was still incredibly unbelievable. I had been working so hard for so long, invested my time, energy and savings to create the best systems possible and this was how they showed their appreciation! The next day he was the one calling me to request a meeting and I told him I would think about it.

Two weeks later it was my consultant’s last day and I took her to lunch and then we were going to attend a meeting with the client to discuss her open cases. At lunch she shared that my client was going to “replace me” with an employee. They were going to “make me” tell her everything about the contract …ie..How we did things and how to use the database that my company funded (I was going to use this for other clients). They thought that I was going to give in and let them do anything they wanted! NO!

( I had learned a big lesson. It took me a long time to say no to them because I was so afraid of losing their business. The consulting fees were bringing in $25,000 per month. Then there were product sales from the contract and internet sales but the consulting fees were a major portion of our business. I had intended to get the contract running efficiently for the first few months and then meet with other clients for new business but this client made so many demands on my energy. As much as I tried to breakfree I was unable to focus on new business because I did not stand up for myself and the needs of my business and employees.

I saw the client as my source of money instead of only one possibility. I was totally disconnected from my Source at that point…I was just beginning to study the law of attraction even though I had known about it since the 80’s. It would take me many years to clear the energy that lived inside of me since my early youth that had created this mess in my adult life.)

So we went to the meeting. When I arrived at our onsite office they had already removed our company name off the door and replaced it. And the employee they were going to give the contract to was there in the office and was going to come into the meeting. I walked up to her, looked her squarely in the eyes and told her she was not invited. I was taking my power back.

We began the meeting with just three of us….myself, my employee and my contact’s associate. A few minutes later my client walked into the meeting, leaned into my face and began pointing his finger and yelling at me. He was so filled with rage that it was almost humorous … especially when he could not roll his chair through the door because it kept bumping into the door frame!

At one point I thought he might actually hurt me. My employee and his associate were in shock. I could have grabbed my brief case and walked out but my body was frozen.

He was demanding that I do what he wanted and I told him “no.” He kept testing me and I kept saying no. It took every ounce of courage I had.

After we walked out of the meeting I discovered that many in the vicinity heard what transpired. We were right next to the medical department and the elevators. My contact had lost control. He was under so much pressure to produce that he was completely out of touch. He was removed from the contract and his boss (the one that awarded the contract to me and hired him to micromanage) called to take me to lunch.

They realized they had made a big mistake by trying to replace me in my own contract and now they were just trying to smooth things over. They wanted me to begin a new level of work at another location under the same contract even though they had already broken the contract by cutting it in half. My lawyer and my therapist at the time both gave me the same advice “Do not even think about it.”

I wanted to take the work. It would have been at least $100,000. I “thought” I needed the money at the time to make up for the work they took away but in the end I did not take it.

After that fateful meeting I could feel the “connectors” in my brain breaking apart. I was officially in a mid-life crisis… a spiritual crisis and it affected me physically. I took the next two months to rest and recover. Thank goodness for my consultant in the New Orleans office who was working and bringing in income. Plus we had the internet sales. Once I felt better I consulted for another couple of months until the contract was officially over and several months later I recovered 20% of the income we had been denied.

It took quite a while to see the beauty. I knew that there was something new for me to do in the world but I had no idea what that was. I was beginning a new path and it was the beginning of an intense journey of healing and self discovery. I believe that everything happens for a reason and when we are able to let go new possibilities and doors present themselves to us.

In fact this week three doors closed for me so I am paying attention to what new doors are opening for me!

Day 1 – Saying YES to “Saying NO!” – (Saying YES to ME – 30 Days 30 Stories)

My journey of reinvention began in the spring of 2003 when I finally had the courage to say NO! It has been 10 long years! I had been serving my Fortune 100 oil client for 11 years. I sold products to them for five years before a $50,000 consulting contract landed in my lap. Actually there was no contract – just a handshake – and it worked beautifully for years. I helped the employees of this company get out of pain and back to productive work by finding the source of their computer related physical pain. Then I rearranged their workspace, told them what products to buy and how to reposition their bodies so they could work in comfort. Often I would hand a $10,000 invoice to my contact and he would have it paid within two days at my request!

A few years later I was given the opportunity to bid on a much larger consulting contract and after months of discussion a $1,000,000+ contract was awarded to my company. My staff and I got to work. I hired consultants to cover the Houston and New Orleans offices. We all worked hard creating systems to efficiently serve up to 1600 employees and contractors for my client. My computer science degree came in handy. I hired a programming company and together we designed an online database and reporting system for the contract. It allowed us to enter data collected in the field and to create reports so that we would always know what was going on. We even had an appointment scheduler. It was a masterpiece and I was so damn proud of what we had created.

In the beginning of the two year contract we were paid on time for the most part. Then gradually it took longer and longer to receive payment. I started to hand the invoice to my contact and ask him if we could walk together to the accounting department to make sure it was immediately entered in the system. But even then it was slow. There was always some excuse as to why the invoice was paid late yet they still expected the highest quality service from my company and we continued to serve. They withheld tens of thousands in payment and it was beyond frustrating. At one point they owed us $60,000 and said that the only way they would pay us was if we created a new system of reporting for upper management.

I said “It is not in the contract.”
They said “It’s in the contract.”
I said “Show me where”and they did not respond.

They had the upper hand and they knew it. They were using their power to get what they wanted and I did not see another way. We created the new reports. It took us a few weeks and cost my company $10,000. Then we were paid. A couple of months later they told me that we had to cut the amount of billing in half. They broke the contact, micromanaged my staff and myself and continued to pay slow. What I thought was going to be amazing turned into a nightmare.

I let them control me for several months until I finally had the courage to say no. This was after my intuition told me to pay attention to their actions and I caught them trying to hire one of my consultants away from me. They were going to break the contract and hire her to run MY contract! But she told them “no” and I had my evidence. I told them that if they wanted me to continue keeping their employees and contractors injury free they were going to have to pay me everyday.

Yes. I put my foot down finally and I knew that I was risking losing the contract completely but I just did not have the energy to go on. I finally had the courage to say NO.

Then a meeting was called in my client’s office and something very drastic happened that was incredibly shocking to all who were in attendance and to all those who happened to be in the vicinity of the office.

Once that shocking meeting was over everything had changed for me. It was the beginning of my new journey of reinvention and I had no idea how long and difficult that journey would be to find what was going to be next for me.

I will share that story next….

Day 0 – Saying YES to ME / 30 Stories in 30 Days! – December 2013 Series

A couple of years ago I began writing a series of stories. I intended to write 30 Stories in 30 Days yet after completing five stories I experienced a huge insight about my life and was guided down a new path and through a series of processes. This led me to own the artist within me and it has been life changing. I’ve written enough for a book in the past couple of years but until now did not feel ready to share anything with anyone other than myself.

So this month I’ll be SAYING YES to ACCEPTING my life 100% to whatever is showing up. The outcome I would like to experience at the end of this series is feeling GRATITUDE for EVERYTHING. Who knows what miracles may happen?!

I’ll be SAYING YES to what is challenging, easy, fun, crazy, boring, peaceful, colorful, playful, painful, difficult, taking longer than I want, etc. I’ll be SAYING YES to what I rather not experience and what I enjoy. I’ll be SAYING YES to what feeds my pleasure, fun and playfulness and what does not. I’ll be SAYING YES to my life experiences as I am inspired.

I’m looking forward to this journey of sharing and learning more about myself. I’m taking a big leap of faith that I’ll tap into my inspiration to write and create art everyday along with everything else happening in my life.

With Love, Wendy

I share an update about my recent move – the 3rd one this year – well technically I am not living in a particular place right now but I did manifest something really cool in the process. I speak about trust and being “home in the heart” – ok I did not say “heart” but I did touch my heart. Let me know how this inspires you! xoxox Wendy PS. I do believe this is an example of living very courageously!

Courage to Create Art Lives Deep Inside

courage is a very deep well inside you WENDYThe courage to create art already lives inside of you.  It is your job to get in touch with it and to CLAIM it. You have everything it takes to be creative in the world. Reach in and grab it and hold onto it. It is yours  now! I was not always so courageous when it came to my art. Once I finally had the courage to create art it took me years and years to even begin to think about sharing it! So, YOU are the well of courage. Be artful, share your art and open the doors to your creativity. Yes!

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