“As soon as I saw the trapeze I knew I had to do it! I climbed to the top of the ladder and I was so scared I wanted to climb back down the stairs yet was told I had to step onto the platform. Then I was afraid to take the step from the platform at the same time I grabbed the handle because I knew there was no going back! After several minutes I finally took the step and Continue reading
“Christmas Day 2010 – I remember it like it was yesterday. I was at a family member’s house and an argument had begun. I made a simple comment about sea salt – yes you heard me right! Someone interpreted my comment in a particular way and we had to take a break from the festivities and practically duke it out! Continue reading
“OMG. What is wrong with me I was wondering? I better put away my art and leave right now so that nobody sees me crying!”
… It was October 2011 and I was fully immersed with my artistry. I bought a brand new drawing pad, sharpened my pencils and started drawing. I sat for hours and hours at a local coffee shop and was having a grand time! I produced a half inch thick folder of art. I took a few days off and realized I had no idea at all where my folder of art was!! Continue reading
The processes of Letting Go, Discovering and Releasing takes you to the door of the room where your treasure box resides. After all these years you finally have access to your beautiful God given gems that you have been denying for so long.
You look inside and see the gem and reach in Continue reading
Today is the first day of the rest of my life.
I have been practically absent from my business in a public way since June 2014 because I have been caring for my mother who was diagnosed with a moderate level of dementia. She requires help in many areas of her life including grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, doctor’s visits, bill paying and more. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I would be doing something like this.
Ever feel like it is one thing after another?! Life just keeps happening and sometimes there is no time for a breather?
These days many are experiencing a quickening in challenging life events. If you are one of them I totally feel you.
This has been my life for about 30 years. My twenties were turbulent and when I started on my healing path in 1989 things began to make some sense.
10 years ago began a new series of events and six years ago another big series and then many other since. And when I take a closer look I see that they are all very connected and
I have often wanted to write about them and the reality is that when things are happening so fast and with very little recovery time it can be easy to lose track. It is my intention to share more as I walk this path because I receive insights that help me and others. I know that by sharing my journey in the form of story and insight from the experience it is serving a larger whole.
So with that in mind….
A new series of events began the end of February.
I bought a new car out of the blue (fun and surprising mystical experience I still intend to write about!).
A couple of days later I was in the process of moving and I missed a step and sprained my foot and ankle … the worst sprain ever!
After looking for help I just had to walk on my foot, carrying boxes and pushing my way through.
My dog and I stayed in a hotel for several days and walking him was painful! I held onto cars and the side of the building and sometime sat on the curb. And it was cold and rainy and I was moving SLOW.
During this time I was in the process of selling my old car which took three days of non-stop work (driving from one side of the city to the other, trading cars and getting documents together) to make it happen. I really felt as though I was being tested.
I also felt as though I was pushing myself to the next level of inner growth. While that was nice to realize I was just tired and my sweet dog was getting confused over the continuing change from one car to the other.
I kept pushing through. I had no other choice.
Then after several weeks of testing my mother was moved into a lock-down unit of an assisted living home for dementia – very emotionally challenging.
It has been a challenging couple of months working towards acceptance of my mother’s health. All kinds of anger and grief has surfaced and keep working through it using my own processes and getting help from other energy healers
There is no other choice for me. What about you? What is your choice?
I’d love to hear.
PS. One hint to move through the rough stuff: Create Art!
The other morning I was talking to my sister.
“What? You had a miscarriage? I didn’t even know you were pregnant!”
Then my eyes opened.
“What was THAT? Oh!! That had nothing to do with my sister!”
The dream was a symbol for the nightmare I had been living.
After selling my 17 year ergonomic business in 2008 I followed a calling. Over a period of years I created and offered a string of products and services and each time I began marketing them they flopped!
Every one of my project launches miscarried!
OMG. That really put things into perspective for me. I browsed my work and realized the massive amount of writing I completed. Sales pages. Optin pages. Thank you pages. Download pages. Video creation. Editing. Branding. Marketing messages. Social Media. Technical challenges. Family issues.
And then falling flat on my butt.
Doubt crept in and I lost momentum over and again. Sometimes I just wanted to give up. Does that sound familiar?
And then I realized the perfection of the entire experience.
I had been slowly dipping my toes in the water and building my confidence with each baby step and each success. One of my artist friends, Tara Dixon said “They are all baby steps.” … No truer words could be said about the process of bringing your dreams to life. We must keep going no matter what and eventually we will make great progress. The process of the work made me confront my deepest fears and beliefs so I could shift them.
The good news…
My art dream is beginning to bud. I love creating colorful art and I’m creating a new collection. I took my latest launch full term and we are almost midway through the course and my clients are experiencing transformations and I love serving them.
You see – a few years ago a coach told me to connect to my core gifts and that everything would spring forth from there. What gifts? What passions were at my core that I was not in touch with? These questions had me exploring who I am.
Was it easy? No! It was a slow and very painful process. I persevered on my own and eventually tapped a deeper understanding of myself and this changed EVERYTHING for me. Months later as I reflected on the previous couple of years I saw the processes I had been using on myself to heal and transform and own my artistic gifts.
I’m grateful for all the miscarried projects, birthing pains and successes. The lessons are now my teachings. I continue to do my inner work and transform my life as the unlimited being that I AM.
If you are ready for your creative transformation I am here for you!
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We are still in the newness of 2014 and I wonder how everything is going for you and what new choices and actions are calling you…
ME: I am being guided to face what I’ve been resisting.
I attempted to share something for the past several years and each time I lost my nerve. This past Saturday morning something shifted and after staring at my video camera for several hours I found my courage. About midway through I felt a new sparkle of happiness move through me and I knew I made the right choice. I share something so vulnerable and that has been the driving force of my existence since 1989.
If you’ve been on a challenging path and in need of healing I invite you to watch and to share with anyone you feel could benefit.
I appreciate you and I love you.
PS. A few times during the video I tried getting my dog to stop scratching because I thought it was interfering with the video (it wasn’t) so please excuse me for that…
I never thought much about confidence or courage for that matter.
When I was growing up I was put down a lot at home, school and extracurricular activities. I was also given too much responsibility at home instead of getting out, socializing and dating. My mother used to tell me that the boys did not ask me out because I was not rich. I have often wondered how that affected me in all areas of my life. I tried a lot growing up and somewhere along the way I must have lost my confidence and did not realize it.
In the early days of my business I made cold calls. I knocked on doors and handed out my cards and I looked through the phone book and made phone calls. I never really liked it but as I look back I can see how it helped me build confidence and as well as my business.
Recently I have realized that I have been building confidence. I’ve been putting myself out there more, leading calls and sharing more of my story. It was not anything I was trying to do but it feels good to notice that my confidence is getting stronger as I step deeper into my purpose and new business. Everything I do these days is getting easier. And I care less about being perfect. Plus I do not seem to care what people may think about me anymore either.
The point is I’m feeling a level of confidence that is new and refreshing … now that I’m paying attention to it! 🙂
First of all I am letting go of whatever needs I’ve had up to now to be verbose when I write! LOL I now look forward to writing shorter posts (ok this post could still be shorter) and getting to the point. I also let go of any need I may have for anyone to read what I write or comment. It sure makes it a lot more fun to let go of expectations. I am writing for me. It lightens my load and opens a bigger space inside of me to create. And if there is a lot more to write I let go of the need to make it short. I let go of the control. I let go of any need to control. I let go of any part of me that makes this feel like work. I let go of anything inside of me that does not allow me to have fun with my writing.
So much good comes from letting go.
Five years ago I let go of my business. It was not bringing me pleasure anymore. It was early February 2008 and after several years of thinking and wondering I had an instantaneous knowing. I was standing in my kitchen and I realized it was time to close it. I was going to put a note on the website and say “Gone Fishing” and see what was next.
In that instant I felt a great comfort – like a giant HUG from the universe and I knew that all would be ok. It was a great feeling to be ok with not knowing what was next. I knew I would be taken care of and that my bills would get paid. And the inspiration came to sell it and it was easy. It sold in 90 days because I was willing to let go of it.
Earlier this year I let go of my house. I had been nudged to sell it ever since I sold my business. I let go of clutter, sold a lot and donated and threw away much more and I still have a 10 x 20 storage unit. Yesterday I was there in search of a few things. There is much more to let go of. It feels so good and it takes courage.
And now I would like to let go of having to know where my next “permanent” home will be. I really want to know now! I am living on the other side of the city from what I am used to for the past 30 years. I have had to let of my need to get my daily cup of coffee from Whole Foods because it is just too far to drive everyday. Oh I miss visiting my store! Somehow it will all work out. And the sooner I let go of the how to get it the sooner I will have it!
That’s what I’m talking about.