“As soon as I saw the trapeze I knew I had to do it! I climbed to the top of the ladder and I was so scared I wanted to climb back down the stairs yet was told I had to step onto the platform. Then I was afraid to take the step from the platform at the same time I grabbed the handle because I knew there was no going back! After several minutes I finally took the step and Continue reading
The processes of Letting Go, Discovering and Releasing takes you to the door of the room where your treasure box resides. After all these years you finally have access to your beautiful God given gems that you have been denying for so long.
You look inside and see the gem and reach in Continue reading
1. Creativity Expands as We Deepen our Art.
We use creativity in every area of life whether we realize it or not. We harness our creativity to find solutions to everyday problems that arise in our personal and business life. When we create art in some way, even when coloring (because that is creative too), we are opening up pathways in our brains that allow us to have access to our creativity. Continue reading
First of all I am letting go of whatever needs I’ve had up to now to be verbose when I write! LOL I now look forward to writing shorter posts (ok this post could still be shorter) and getting to the point. I also let go of any need I may have for anyone to read what I write or comment. It sure makes it a lot more fun to let go of expectations. I am writing for me. It lightens my load and opens a bigger space inside of me to create. And if there is a lot more to write I let go of the need to make it short. I let go of the control. I let go of any need to control. I let go of any part of me that makes this feel like work. I let go of anything inside of me that does not allow me to have fun with my writing.
So much good comes from letting go.
Five years ago I let go of my business. It was not bringing me pleasure anymore. It was early February 2008 and after several years of thinking and wondering I had an instantaneous knowing. I was standing in my kitchen and I realized it was time to close it. I was going to put a note on the website and say “Gone Fishing” and see what was next.
In that instant I felt a great comfort – like a giant HUG from the universe and I knew that all would be ok. It was a great feeling to be ok with not knowing what was next. I knew I would be taken care of and that my bills would get paid. And the inspiration came to sell it and it was easy. It sold in 90 days because I was willing to let go of it.
Earlier this year I let go of my house. I had been nudged to sell it ever since I sold my business. I let go of clutter, sold a lot and donated and threw away much more and I still have a 10 x 20 storage unit. Yesterday I was there in search of a few things. There is much more to let go of. It feels so good and it takes courage.
And now I would like to let go of having to know where my next “permanent” home will be. I really want to know now! I am living on the other side of the city from what I am used to for the past 30 years. I have had to let of my need to get my daily cup of coffee from Whole Foods because it is just too far to drive everyday. Oh I miss visiting my store! Somehow it will all work out. And the sooner I let go of the how to get it the sooner I will have it!
That’s what I’m talking about.
Everything I’ve experienced in the past decade could fall under the heading of “reinvention” and if there was a defining moment that set me on that path it would be the following…
In the spring of 2004 my Houston consultant gave her resignation because she was moving too far away to commute. I called my client to request a meeting so I could share the news (they loved our consultant) but they were not interested in meeting with me. I soon learned that they were doing everything they could to undo the relationship we can created. So I shared the news via email.
The next day my client called our office to speak to our consultant and my intuition told me to sit in the office when she took the call. And he did what I suspected. He tried to hire her and it just shattered me. Even though I had mentioned my hunch to my HR consultant two weeks prior it was still incredibly unbelievable. I had been working so hard for so long, invested my time, energy and savings to create the best systems possible and this was how they showed their appreciation! The next day he was the one calling me to request a meeting and I told him I would think about it.
Two weeks later it was my consultant’s last day and I took her to lunch and then we were going to attend a meeting with the client to discuss her open cases. At lunch she shared that my client was going to “replace me” with an employee. They were going to “make me” tell her everything about the contract …ie..How we did things and how to use the database that my company funded (I was going to use this for other clients). They thought that I was going to give in and let them do anything they wanted! NO!
( I had learned a big lesson. It took me a long time to say no to them because I was so afraid of losing their business. The consulting fees were bringing in $25,000 per month. Then there were product sales from the contract and internet sales but the consulting fees were a major portion of our business. I had intended to get the contract running efficiently for the first few months and then meet with other clients for new business but this client made so many demands on my energy. As much as I tried to breakfree I was unable to focus on new business because I did not stand up for myself and the needs of my business and employees.
I saw the client as my source of money instead of only one possibility. I was totally disconnected from my Source at that point…I was just beginning to study the law of attraction even though I had known about it since the 80’s. It would take me many years to clear the energy that lived inside of me since my early youth that had created this mess in my adult life.)
So we went to the meeting. When I arrived at our onsite office they had already removed our company name off the door and replaced it. And the employee they were going to give the contract to was there in the office and was going to come into the meeting. I walked up to her, looked her squarely in the eyes and told her she was not invited. I was taking my power back.
We began the meeting with just three of us….myself, my employee and my contact’s associate. A few minutes later my client walked into the meeting, leaned into my face and began pointing his finger and yelling at me. He was so filled with rage that it was almost humorous … especially when he could not roll his chair through the door because it kept bumping into the door frame!
At one point I thought he might actually hurt me. My employee and his associate were in shock. I could have grabbed my brief case and walked out but my body was frozen.
He was demanding that I do what he wanted and I told him “no.” He kept testing me and I kept saying no. It took every ounce of courage I had.
After we walked out of the meeting I discovered that many in the vicinity heard what transpired. We were right next to the medical department and the elevators. My contact had lost control. He was under so much pressure to produce that he was completely out of touch. He was removed from the contract and his boss (the one that awarded the contract to me and hired him to micromanage) called to take me to lunch.
They realized they had made a big mistake by trying to replace me in my own contract and now they were just trying to smooth things over. They wanted me to begin a new level of work at another location under the same contract even though they had already broken the contract by cutting it in half. My lawyer and my therapist at the time both gave me the same advice “Do not even think about it.”
I wanted to take the work. It would have been at least $100,000. I “thought” I needed the money at the time to make up for the work they took away but in the end I did not take it.
After that fateful meeting I could feel the “connectors” in my brain breaking apart. I was officially in a mid-life crisis… a spiritual crisis and it affected me physically. I took the next two months to rest and recover. Thank goodness for my consultant in the New Orleans office who was working and bringing in income. Plus we had the internet sales. Once I felt better I consulted for another couple of months until the contract was officially over and several months later I recovered 20% of the income we had been denied.
It took quite a while to see the beauty. I knew that there was something new for me to do in the world but I had no idea what that was. I was beginning a new path and it was the beginning of an intense journey of healing and self discovery. I believe that everything happens for a reason and when we are able to let go new possibilities and doors present themselves to us.
In fact this week three doors closed for me so I am paying attention to what new doors are opening for me!
I produced this video the other day about owning the fact that I am an artist. It has been many levels of owning this truth about myself! If you are an artist and especially if you are in the process of owning this truth about yourself or if you have some inklings it may touch you in some way. And I make no apology about showing a bit of unexpected emotion 🙂
Well I just finished writing my 2nd story out of 30. And just like yesterday I found many other things to do instead of write. Perhaps tomorrow I will get started much earlier though I will continue to allow myself to slow down.
Today I took some time to practice deep breathing and enjoyed it.
I visualized twice and the 2nd time for quite some time. It was a joyful experience as I could feel it in my body and could feel how it was merging with my energy field. I could feel how I had already created my desire in physical form.
During this time I was developing new tools and getting excited about that as well. Oh there I go always creating!
I can feel things continuing to shift inside of me. The stories I am writing are shifting me as well. It is exciting to me to take on a 30 day project and to blog about it openly.
As I am writing this I have been thinking about sharing the story and instead of doing that I am sharing the last paragraph:
“This is so interesting to bring this story forward into my life. It merges the innate knowing I had at that young age with the adult who has healed from her many childhood experiences. I can only imagine the young Wendy speaking to the adult Wendy and each one of them sharing and loving and growing together and merging more fully as one empowered being! This creates a much more powerful me. Much more to ponder here and I look forward to the new insights I have about this story.”
With that I will let myself drift off to sleep as it is almost midnight and I am about to turn into a pumpkin!
Over weekend I took several hours to get some writing completed that I have been wanting to do for several weeks.
I started writing a few times and was never able to make the kind of progress I was desiring.
What was different for me this time?
One, maybe two things…
First, I am a different person than I was several weeks ago. Actually I am a different person than I was when I woke up this morning!
So there is a different energy inside of me that supports me in completing all the tasks at hand.
What was really different for me is that my laptop decided to go to sleep and over the weekend I did not feel like sitting in my home office at my computer.
I get stir crazy sometimes! So I grabbed a stack of paper and drove to Whole Foods (did I mention I love it there?!).
I had all my notes from the 4 part audio series I created recently and I took out a piece of paper and I started writing. To my amazement the words just flowed out of me and before I knew it I had completed five separate marketing letters.
Sure … maybe it was because I was finally ready to knock these letters out but I think it is something much simpler than that!
I was holding a pen in my hand and writing the old fashioned way! Pen to paper writing! What a concept!
If I ever had any blocks with inspiration it is when I am writing marketing copy! So my laptop deciding to take a siesta and leading me to be inspired to simply write by hand was the best thing that could’ve happened.
In a way you can call it “downstream” writing for those of you who follow Abraham! For me it was the path of least resistance!
When I thought about it later I realized that holding the pen in my hand brought out my creativity. It allowed me to be inspired while I write because when I was a child I wrote with my bare hands too!
So I moved past a major stuck point to complete this writing because I listened to inspiration and I took immediate action!
Of course now I am getting ready to type my notes and then there will be some editing but I am much further than I would have been.
Maybe next time I will be inspired how to write just as quickly while I type!
And it sure would be great to have a working laptop again!
Love and Inspiration!