Earlier this week as I woke up I received the message that “From this point forward the struggle is your choice.” It made sense because I realized how much work I had done the past year or so to understand and prepare for what I am doing now. I let go of my house, moved around a lot, found deep wells of courage and confidence, pushed myself through all kinds of technical challenges and it is paying off. The struggle was an important piece along my journey. It kept me deep inside myself gathering the necessary information that I needed to process my past, understand my purpose and know how I choose to serve in the world. I will be sharing much more about this! There is much more for me to learn yet I know that new information is “revealed” to me at the perfect time. I have learned to trust in my universe and in myself. Whatever challenges I encounter now I am handling more and more from a place of non-resistance.

Wendy

I have been on the move since selling my house in March of this year. Currently I am living in north Houston and at first was having a great deal of resistance about it. I am used to a 15 minute drive or less to arrive at most of my destinations. And I miss my southwest part of town and my almost daily Whole Foods coffee! I now have a 45 minute drive one way in bumper to bumper traffic sometimes. I have managed to steer clear of that for practically 30 years. I’m spoiled! I heard that a new Whole Foods Market is opening close to where I live now in just a few months so it will be interesting to see where I land up.

I’ve asked myself a few times the “reason” I am here and twice I receive the same answer – to build my confidence. It has been a while since I have done this much freeway driving and as I am driving home on a freeway I rarely drive on – at night (so I can miss rush hour traffic) I can feel it building my confidence. And it gives an opportunity to feel grateful for life as it shows up and gives me extra time to let go and tap into inspiration.

I have been able to let go of the “need” to travel to “my” side of the city and allow myself to enjoy what is where I am right now. Sometimes I do not leave the house for five days! That non-resistance allows me to ground and focus myself in my work.

Wendy

Being a deep person and showing up in the world as being “out there” for practically my entire adult life has put me in a lot of places where people have thought I was weird. For a long, long time it bothered me. I wished and prayed for peopled to understand me or at least accept me. It was really lonesome to be myself and be ridiculed for it. But times are changing and now there are so many more weird people out there to hang with and I am just really excited about it because it sure has been a long and winding road!

14 years ago I was sitting in my office working and over the period of several minutes my body naturally folded into itself. I hunched over in my chair and felt an extreme uneasiness. Tears started to flow and all I could think about was that I needed a hug but I had no idea why. It was the most bizarre experience for my body to have done that all on its own without any conscious thought.

Then I was interrupted by a phone call. It was a nurse in from the emergency room and she told me that my mother had been in an accident and rushed to the hospital by ambulance. I was in shock and could barely speak a word. She asked if I could get to the hospital and I said I would. As afraid as I was to ask I called back to find out what happened and how bad was it but the nurse would not give me any information.

When I hung up the phone I could barely think. I was shaking. I realized what had happened to my body in the past 45 minutes. I sensed something…

I called my Dad and a friend and then somehow I found the strength to get in the car. It was rush hour and the traffic was crazy. I prayed to get there quickly and wished I could lift up out of the traffic and fly.

I called a friend to tell her what happened and she said she saw the accident from her office window. That was surreal.

When I arrived to the room where my mother was resting she looked at me with a big smile and my knees nearly buckled beneath me. But I caught myself from falling because I made myself be strong for my mother who was covered in glass.

The Bellaire officer who was at the scene approached me to tell me what happened.

A tire from a dump truck from the other side of the freeway came loose and flew over the median and crashed through the windshield of my mother’s car. Her car stopped and then it began rolling so another drive purposely drove his car in such a way so my mother’s car would crash into it and then stop. An angel.

A few days later I went to a meeting and told a few people what happened and one of them told me that her father saw the accident happen. He saw the tire fly over the freeway and prayed it would not hit his car. He was a few cars in front of my mother. I cannot remember if he saw what happened. That was surreal.

A handful of years later a day or two after my grandmother (mom’s mom) passed away I apparently made a turn in my car that I should not have and was stopped by an officer. I told him that I always turned there and he told me that it was an illegal turn. I told him that it must be my grandmother guiding him to me so that he could tell me not to turn there anymore and he just gave me a gentle warning. I looked at his name badge. It was the same officer.

A few months ago I went to court for a ticket and this same officer was there in charge of leading us to our seats and sharing the rules. I told him who I was and he remembered the incident well and told me to say hello to my mother.

The moral of the story. We are all CONNECTED!

Wendy

In 1996 I had just returned from a 5 week trip to Israel, London and NYC. I spent 3 weeks in Israel traveling all around taking buses and cabs and walking in areas that I had never been too. I had a great time. Then I spent 10 days in London taking in the sights and enjoying plenty of shopping. It took me days to make it through Harrods! Then three days in NYC and NJ for a family function.

I was all ready to get back home and get to my office to work! A friend had been taking care of my internet business I had launched my ergonomic website April 1^st) and I knew there was much for me to get caught up on. My plane arrived late on a Sunday and my father picked me up and drove me home. As we were unloading the car I noticed a man walking toward us in the distance. Something felt very strange about it and I just watched him.

It was August 12^th at 12:30am and he was wearing a jacket and the hood was up. That was strange. As he walked toward us I kept thinking he was going to go the other direction … like turn down the sidewalk. When he did not do that I thought perhaps (ok, wishful thinking) he is going to ask for directions. Crazy I know but I knew something was up.

My Dad had no idea what was going on because he was fiddling with something in the car. Just as my Dad turned around the person in question stepped towards us and pulled out a gun and said “Give me your wallets.”

I suppose I half suspected it but it took my father by complete surprise. We both responded as calm as we possibly could.

We both kept saying “Whatever you want. Whatever you want.” We had no idea how he was going to react.

My Dad reached for his wallet and his pocket jiggled with coins. And the man said “What was that?” My Dad said “Those are quarters. Do you want them?” He didn’t.

After we both gave him all the paper money he seemed a bit annoyed. I had $22 and my Dad had about $40. Then he asked if we had any jewelry. I offered him my silver necklace – the one I bought at Harrods but he did not want it. He wanted gold.

My Dad offered him the large, gold Chai (meaning “Life” in Hebrew) that he was wearing around his neck. I remember thinking “Oh no, not that!” I recalled when he bought that when I was 18 and we were in NYC for a family event. But the man miraculously did not want that either. I suppose he knew that when he brought it into a pawn shop they would know for sure it was stolen.

Talk about being totally out of my comfort zone. This man was most definitely in control of the situation.

It was dark and there was nobody around. During the entire interlude not one car drove by. It was just me and my Dad standing there in the middle of the street 20 yards from my apartment.

He just stood there holding the gun which was pointed up and away and it looked as though he was thinking.

I remember wondering what was going to happen when it was “all over.” Was he going to shoot us? Would we be lying there on the ground for someone else to find?

And then all of a sudden he turned and swiftly ran away.

Wow. Tears. Perhaps there is more healing for me.

It was all so surreal. I have often wondered if there were angels nearby. I am sure there were. It was so quiet. It seemed as if it lasted for quite a while but I know it was only minutes. Right now as I type this I am feeling my face flush. Ok, maybe it is a hot flash! 😉 Or maybe my angels are nearby now. I look forward to knowing my angels more.

What I do know is that all happened for a reason. I went back into therapy and I was diagnosed with PTSD and it took months before I would go out in the dark. We uncovered so much stuff from my childhood and healed it and I am forever grateful for all of it.

Wendy

I have often said that I raised myself. At a young age I knew that my mother did not have it in her to be a nurturing and loving mother. It was not easy to be a child. In fact I did not have much of a childhood. Too much adult responsibility and very little time to play. I watched over my brother and sister because it was what was necessary. It was about pure survival everyday and there was a great deal of chaos in my life as a child and all of that experience was stored in my cells.

The chaos that I knew as a child showed up in my life in my twenties when I was just beginning my first business. In fact I called that time of my life the “Turbulent Twenties.” I thought that was just how life was supposed to be.

It was years before I remembered the buried traumas of my childhood and once I did remember things began to make more sense. It would take me decades to heal from all of it. I am still healing from it but from a completely different place. If it was not for all of that I would not be as connected to my spiritual self as I am. So it is a blessing. All of it. What a life I have led. I am so grateful for all the healers I have had in my lifetime and I pray that I live my highest potential as I connect to my tribe and be a source of inspiration and healing in the world.

Wendy

Ok. I’m behind on writing my Saying YES to ME posts. It happened last weekend as well and I got caught up. What was I thinking when I said I would write these posts everyday throughout December?! I am in the middle of a launch for heaven’s sake. And there is so much other “stuff” going on like just taking care of myself and my dog. And resting. And creating. And sleeping and eating! But no matter what I am keeping to my word. The fun thing is that there is a blog challenge going on right now so I have been posting these to my blog as well and other bloggers have been coming by to comment. So my inspiration to write was in perfect timing and I am definitely feeling the positive vibe from within for taking this task on! Everything is happening in perfect timing…even falling behind. There are no rules except the ones I make up along the way. And the most important thing is that I stay true to myself. Sometime I wonder if there has been a part of me that was afraid of feeling judged when others read my posts. But that is not my concern because of those that write and share how they feel inspired. I am going to make every effort to write everyday no matter what comes up in between. It is all good as “they” say!

Wendy