30 Days 30 Stories: Day 3

Story 3

4-6-11

This is my 4th day of writing stories and I am choosing to print today’s story instead of blog about my experience only. If my purpose is about being emotionally authentic it seems that sharing my story is more in alignment. I will see how I feel as I continue this journey. I will probably do both. This story was meant for yesterday! Yes I am already behind but will write 2 stories today!

Feel free to share!

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“When I Tried Out for Cheerleader – Twice!”

When I was a freshman at Churchill High School in San Antonio I tried out for cheerleader. I loved practicing gymnastics even though I was just a beginner. Mainly I wanted to be popular! I felt like the most unpopular person in school and was down on myself for it. I longed for friends and I thought this was my ticket.

I joined the team to learn all the cheers and practice my jumping and I had a total blast learning. There were just a small handful of us. When I think about it now I see that I really had a lot of guts to do this. All of the others that tried out were used to this sort of thing.

The day of cheerleader tryouts we entered the gym and ran to the front. Every single student from the entire school was there. I looked out and have no idea how many students were there but it was a huge gym and it was packed. The bleachers and the floor were totally covered with students. From freshman to seniors they were all there. There could’ve been a few thousand. What was I thinking?!

When it was my time I did my cheer from start to finish and I did my jumps. I did the absolute best that I could. I was not as good as any of the others. I did not jump as high and I did not yell as loud and I was definitely not as popular. So the next day when I found out that I did not win I was not surprised but I was happy that I tried. It was great fun.

The next year my family moved to another neighborhood in San Antonio and I went to Robert E Lee High School and I just did not have enough so I tried out again. This time it was much different. We tried out in the gym to a very small group of people who would choose the cheerleaders. And this time if you can believe it I forgot my cheer. I totally forgot my cheer! I did better with a large crowd than a small handful of people.

But I was able to do something that nobody else could do. When I jumped I landed in the Chinese splits…I can remember it to this day. I may have forgotten my cheer but I landed with perfection! And I got the oohs and the ahs! I was able to walk out of there with my head held high! It just goes to show that there is always a silver lining and it just takes us choosing to focus on that instead of the other.

When I look back now I remember how some of the boys actually did talk to me when I did not hide and choose to be shy…the term I was labeled with early in my life. And some of them were even cute. Yeah I liked the cute boys of course. I always wanted what I could not have. And some of the popular girls even talked to me. They were always complimenting my jewelry. Yes there were those young girls who made fun of me. It is all part of the experience of my life. I’ve been living the full spectrum of feelings my entire life…from extreme highs to extreme lows and one thing I can say is that it has been a very moving experience!

I thought at that young age that it was all about the outer. That if I could be popular out there and have a lot of friends and admirers I would feel better inside. I wanted to be loved. I did not know that it was an inside job. I was only 14 after all.

And I wonder why I could do my cheer perfectly in front of a mass audience and forget it in front of a few. Perhaps I am meant to be speaking in front of large audiences because I feed of their energy and rapport. Well I suppose we will see.

With Love!

Wendy