In 1991 I pioneered ergonomics and in 1996 I launched one of the first ergonomic product websites which I sold in 2008. I sold it because after 17 years in that business it was time to be authentic in a new area.
(Oh in case you are wondering, the ergonmics website I created is www.ergopro.com. Tell them I said hello!)
I realize that a part of me always thought that to be fully authentic I had to do everything on my own. Of course that is not the case. Authenticity develops on the inside and only recently did I begin understand that on a more meaningful level.
Here’s how it happened.
Nine months ago I met someone on Twitter whom I had noticed before but chose not to follow her because something felt “off.”
Call it intuition.
Weeks later she followed me and her first communication to me was that I was wrong about something. Being my forgiving and sometimes naive self I followed her and let it go knowing we all have our own perceptions.
On one of our early phone calls an intriguing idea presented itself to us. She wanted to get started right away and I was still in the middle of producing my Spiritual Grid Manifestation DVD and told her I was definitely interested and would let her know when I was ready.
Deep down my intuition was speaking to me and I knew that I could not work with her while creating my DVD. Months later I wrote her and suggested we create that program. It just felt like the right time.
We began a series of phone calls and became much clearer about the series. Being the consummate businesswoman I am I suggested a written agreement and even though she ignored me I allowed myself to get deeper into the project and kept “giving in.”
After a short time I realized she saw me as her “admin” when she frequently ordered me to take actions at a moments notice! Again I suggested we create an agreement about responsibilities and again it was ignored. Yet I kept going because the project was still intriguing to me.
I kept doing everything she asked and then got creative and practiced some videos in the park to promote the series. That same weekend she began accusing me of not working and my response was to stop working!
Funny how the mind works. She proceeded to send me a series of accusatory emails and then I began experiencing excrutiating pain and landed in the emergency room and then I could not work! Her emails kept coming even though she knew I was not well for several days. She even told me she did not care I was sick!
That is when I got it! It was the final straw and I told her I did not want to play with her anymore. It just hurt too much.
That very same day I had a series of phone calls with other people and the theme that kept appearing was authenticity!
My first clues of a potential conflict came many months before.
Once I was able to recognize the truth I wrote a letter to the list we created and told everyone that in order to be authentic I had to exit.
Fortunately I also now understand the meaning of authenticity on a deeper level. My authenticity has nothing to do with doing everything on my own as I once thought.
My authenticity has everything to do with staying true to my core beliefs and principles and only allowing people in my life that are serving me. It also has to feel good! When I listen to and take action on my intuition I am being authentic. The experience itself served me well and once I was able to rise above it and receive the learning I was complete.
Authenticity is certainly the theme of the moment for me. What about you?
What areas of your life are causing you to ponder? What have you been putting up with?
Let me know how this has served you.
Well it is time to take action on my new inspirations! But first I think it is time for some dark chocolate. Now that’s being authentic!
iLoveU !
Wendy
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