When I began this project I said I was going to write one story a day and then blog about it. That is not happening exactly. I was just going to explain it all and I was getting myself all confused so I am going to leave all that out and just say that here is another story…the story is my blog. And I’d like to add that this commitment I made to write stories for the next 30 days is a much bigger challenge than I realized but I am staying on track. I can feel my awareness growing and it is changing me. I love that. Isn’t that all that matters?
Patty, Janet and Dawn
It was my last year at Eisenhower Middle School and I was in my physical education class one day and all at once Patty, Janet and Dawn came up to me and befriended me.
They touched my hair and told me they liked it. It was and still is a unique color. Back then it was considered strawberry blond…and it had a lot of red in it. I suppose I stood out in more ways than one. But really I guess they just liked me and invited me into their circle. That was the first time that ever happened to me.
I felt accepted. I was happy to feel their acceptance and their attention. They wanted to eat lunch with me and when Christmas came around they all had gifts for me. Or was it my birthday? I really cannot remember because it is way too long ago! But again I was really touched.
They always wanted me to go skating on Thursday nights. That was when many of the kids at my school went skating at a particular skating rink that I had a couple of birthday parties at.
But my mother would never let me go. It was an important time for me to get out of the house and socialize with kids my age especially since I was so shy…at least that is what I had been labeled from a very young age. I really wanted to go so perhaps I was not as shy as everyone made me think. I begged to no avail.
The entire year they wanted me to go and even though I couldn’t they still kept me in their circle.
Then it was time for summer vacation so I did not see them at school anymore. And I did not go skating on Thursday nights. And all summer long all I could think about was seeing my friends again.
On the first day of school at high school it was lunch time and I was so excited. I went to the cafeteria and looked for them. I found them quickly and I hurried over to them in the snack bar line. I said hello and they completely and totally ignored me.
I was so hurt. They were talking about me and making fun of me as I stood there. I was quiet as I stood there and listened. I can feel the pain inside of me right now.
I better do some EFT (ok done).
I started thinking about these friends in the past few weeks in a different way. I had a thought that perhaps they were hurt they I never went skating and that I never contacted them during the summer. Now as I write this story I’m thinking that maybe it was none of that. Maybe they were just tired of me and wanted to pick a new friend for the year that they would dump.
It really does not matter. The only thing that matters to me now is that I let go of any stuck energies created from this experience. Perhaps the EFT took care of this or maybe the awareness from the writing of this story is allowing whatever healing is necessary to take place. I do not need answers to everything. What I need to know will come to me if and when it is necessary.