Ok I know this is going to sound a bit strange at first. Just hear me out!
When I woke up recently I found myself staring up at the ceiling fan! For some reason it mesmerized me and it brought me into a heightened state of consciousness. All of a sudden the concept of my success and perhaps surpassing the success of my father came up.
It was just a simple little bit of information that bubbled up inside of me.
The next day I woke up and consciously put my attention on the ceiling fan and realized this allowed more information to surface. It is like there were two parts at play here….the part that was telling me to focus and the part that was surfacing the information!
As I had the realization about this old belief I started to cry! I love it when I cry because I know I am releasing old stuck emotions and this has enabled me to grab a bit more of my power and step deeper into my worthiness. It opens more of my creativity and inspiration to flow. It allows me to breathe deeper.
Over the years I pondered the possibility that perhaps I made a choice to not pass up my father in wealth and this experience affirmed it. And just this week I attempted to have a conversation with him about money and it created an emotional reaction in him. Then I have this experience. Really interesting stuff.
Several weeks ago I called a therapist who helped me over a period of many years and told him about the emotions and buried thoughts that had been bubbling up from my childhood over the past year. These were things that I always remembered just there were particular details that were making themselves known to me so that I could release and move on.
What he told me was that the gift of all the work that I have been doing over the past 20 years was to get to do this work too! Thanks! So the gift of doing our work is more work!
However it is all good. He told me that this was the last leg of my work. Lots of cleaning and tweaking. So much more about my life makes much more sense now.
And the awesome part is that it is leading me right into my purpose work. It makes such complete sense that cleaning out the cobwebs from the past is necessary to serve in a bigger way than I have.
And that is one reason why I am excited about 2011!
I have been feeling increased compassion for my father. He is 85 and has worked very hard his entire life. He is still going at it running his small business. Everyday … the weekends too … he works. Whether it is doing paperwork or seeing clients or vendors he is constantly working. Except when he is watching football or playing with his stamp collection or listening to his favorite radio station!
Though many times he is working in the background. I have watched him work like this since my childhood and see that he has been a source of my inspiration to get started in business so young in my life. Thank you Dad!
I would say I’d like to make it easier for my Dad (and for my Mom for that matter!) yet he would tell me that he is enjoying his life … though I am sure he would accept any gifts I may give him!
This morning as I am working on a project I am feeling excitement. I see myself looking at everything as creation and adventure and as I feel the passion of that moment. It is getting me to my next moment where I can create and feel passion. It is about continuing to climb the ladder of passion. That is where success is!
Thank you for reading and allowing me to be more authentic! Writing is so healing and really locks in the learning and creates more shifts. I would love to hear your comments!
In Deep Gratitude, Love and Inspiration!