Today I picked my mom at her memory care and took her out for a bit. It is never easy going there and I’m always praying she will be happy to see me. I was aware of feeling some grief right below the surface but it was stuck.
On the way home after taking my mom back I forced myself to feel those feelings. I suppose I pushed them to the surface so I could feel and release them. It was only for a couple of minutes yet I felt so much better. Writing, making art, exercising, resting and meditating all help in their own way.
My iLoVeU design is the addition to the painting I created 25 years ago of which you can only see a part of. I was taking a painting class series and chose to do my own thing and purchase a large canvas, paint it and then share it with my teacher.
She told me that it was not finished and I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do with it until recently.
I outlined my iLoVeU design to begin and I am considering what I’m going to do with it next. I want to blend it into the painting … or maybe not. Maybe I will let it stand out on the painting. It can be a metaphor for me working on standing out in this world of Art and Coaching and living a good life in every way imaginable.
A recent drawing
My iLoVeU design
With a new flair of detail.
I love using black marker
Because it’s final
And allows for transformation Of mistakes into new detail.
And shifts our perception
That perfection lives within
Constructs of imperfection.
What is perfect about you, your life and experiences that you previously thought to be imperfect?
This iLoVeU was painted in May 2016 right before I started liquidating my mother’s house. It was nice to have a small amount of creativity playtime…still a bit more work to complete..
Day 8 – Only LOVE 💖
This is a chalk drawing I created a while before moving out of my house. For some reason creating with chalk felt like cheating for me. I definitely did not feel like an artist and using chalk was giving the young, forgotten artist a playground. I suppose I did not see chalk as a medium that real artists would use. Anyway. I know I’m an artist and this is real art.
The iLoVeU Tree.
Stands so perfectly.
So well suited for today’s art share.
She represents the collective current need.
To be even more self aware.
Life happens for us especially.
When we let it.
Art lets us explore our roots.
There she stands.
Tall and strong and majestical.
Giving life to all around her.
So they may be as rooted
In Mama Earth as she.
We find meaning in art.
Art heals us through creation, evolution, discussion, imagination and meditation of it – the artwork.
It’s Sunday morning and kinda’ blah. Showers are expected and hopefully it turns into a beautiful day because Superbowl is here in Houston (as if you didn’t know). May everyone visiting our city have a safe and enjoyable time. Frankly I’ll hear the game in the background and will catch glimpses from time to time.
Today’s iLoVeU drawing is one of three I drew with pencil. The circles and curves are perfect because I used a tool. I played and as much as I love to draw freestyle it was fun.
It’s maybe five or six years since I drew this. I remember having to reach deep to give myself PERMISSION to create this. Like “who am I do draw inside of my own design?” I know this may seem like silly thinking but artists are always looking at how they can give themselves permission to do what they want.
So I used a tool to expand with myself while expanding within my design. It’s like a moving meditation in a way.
It’s so interesting to me that this is one of at least 100 drawings never shared in any way. I find myself wondering who I’ll be at the end of the month after sharing and telling stories about my art.
Perhaps this can be considered a metaphor for Circling Back Around and Expanding My Circle of Creativity and Awareness by sharing more of me.
Whatever you are doing keep being creative and keep reaching in for more of who you are so you may expand your expression in the world.
This was the first iLoVeU design of this style I drew in spring 2014 as I allowed my body and mind to process the grief I felt seeing my mother in a memory care home. I could barely speak about what was happening without tearing up. I couldn’t contain the grief and it bubbled up whenever it wanted.
I felt a massive amount of empathy for my mother seeing her own sadness from being ripped from her home, checked into a hospital and moved into a memory care.
I had no say in any of it. So this was my way to have my say with myself, to help myself get through this time so I could be present with my mom. The last thing I wanted her to see was my sadness about her situation. I had to be strong for her.
How interesting that earlier this week my mother could see my sadness and she is the one that soothed me. The tables turn and then they turn again. Souls are always connected.
As I sat on the couch for hours on end I drew with my markers. I prayed for an easy and peaceful resolution for my mom and her care using the Ho’oponopono healing technique.
I repeated this mantra over and over:
I love you. I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you.
I had no idea where it would lead but it had helped me so many times over the years.
As I repeated these words I drew my mystical iLoVeU and I soothed myself as best as I could. I was building an inner pathway to let the light in. I look forward to sharing more about my iLoVeU design.
Who would’ve ever thought I’d be calling myself an artist and blogging about a symbol that came to me in a magical and mysterious way? Definitely not me!
Thankfully I’m all grown up now … or am I? 🙂
See you tomorrow!