Today I picked my mom at her memory care and took her out for a bit. It is never easy going there and I’m always praying she will be happy to see me. I was aware of feeling some grief right below the surface but it was stuck.
On the way home after taking my mom back I forced myself to feel those feelings. I suppose I pushed them to the surface so I could feel and release them. It was only for a couple of minutes yet I felt so much better. Writing, making art, exercising, resting and meditating all help in their own way.
My iLoVeU design is the addition to the painting I created 25 years ago of which you can only see a part of. I was taking a painting class series and chose to do my own thing and purchase a large canvas, paint it and then share it with my teacher.
She told me that it was not finished and I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do with it until recently.
I outlined my iLoVeU design to begin and I am considering what I’m going to do with it next. I want to blend it into the painting … or maybe not. Maybe I will let it stand out on the painting. It can be a metaphor for me working on standing out in this world of Art and Coaching and living a good life in every way imaginable.
A recent drawing
My iLoVeU design
With a new flair of detail.
I love using black marker
Because it’s final
And allows for transformation Of mistakes into new detail.
And shifts our perception
That perfection lives within
Constructs of imperfection.
What is perfect about you, your life and experiences that you previously thought to be imperfect?
This iLoVeU was painted in May 2016 right before I started liquidating my mother’s house. It was nice to have a small amount of creativity playtime…still a bit more work to complete..
Day 8 – Only LOVE 💖
This is a chalk drawing I created a while before moving out of my house. For some reason creating with chalk felt like cheating for me. I definitely did not feel like an artist and using chalk was giving the young, forgotten artist a playground. I suppose I did not see chalk as a medium that real artists would use. Anyway. I know I’m an artist and this is real art.
The iLoVeU Tree.
Stands so perfectly.
So well suited for today’s art share.
She represents the collective current need.
To be even more self aware.
Life happens for us especially.
When we let it.
Art lets us explore our roots.
There she stands.
Tall and strong and majestical.
Giving life to all around her.
So they may be as rooted
In Mama Earth as she.
We find meaning in art.
Art heals us through creation, evolution, discussion, imagination and meditation of it – the artwork.
It’s Sunday morning and kinda’ blah. Showers are expected and hopefully it turns into a beautiful day because Superbowl is here in Houston (as if you didn’t know). May everyone visiting our city have a safe and enjoyable time. Frankly I’ll hear the game in the background and will catch glimpses from time to time.
Today’s iLoVeU drawing is one of three I drew with pencil. The circles and curves are perfect because I used a tool. I played and as much as I love to draw freestyle it was fun.
It’s maybe five or six years since I drew this. I remember having to reach deep to give myself PERMISSION to create this. Like “who am I do draw inside of my own design?” I know this may seem like silly thinking but artists are always looking at how they can give themselves permission to do what they want.
So I used a tool to expand with myself while expanding within my design. It’s like a moving meditation in a way.
It’s so interesting to me that this is one of at least 100 drawings never shared in any way. I find myself wondering who I’ll be at the end of the month after sharing and telling stories about my art.
Perhaps this can be considered a metaphor for Circling Back Around and Expanding My Circle of Creativity and Awareness by sharing more of me.
Whatever you are doing keep being creative and keep reaching in for more of who you are so you may expand your expression in the world.
This was the first iLoVeU design of this style I drew in spring 2014 as I allowed my body and mind to process the grief I felt seeing my mother in a memory care home. I could barely speak about what was happening without tearing up. I couldn’t contain the grief and it bubbled up whenever it wanted.
I felt a massive amount of empathy for my mother seeing her own sadness from being ripped from her home, checked into a hospital and moved into a memory care.
I had no say in any of it. So this was my way to have my say with myself, to help myself get through this time so I could be present with my mom. The last thing I wanted her to see was my sadness about her situation. I had to be strong for her.
How interesting that earlier this week my mother could see my sadness and she is the one that soothed me. The tables turn and then they turn again. Souls are always connected.
Happy Groundhog Day! From the looks of it we are going to have another six weeks of winter. Then again, Houston, TX is more spring than winter.
OK, so it’s day 2 of iLoVeU Month. Today’s drawing is part of the collection I created in the first month of my mom’s dementia diagnosis.
The first two weeks of March 2014 my mother was in the hospital being observed and as much as I wanted to visit I was asked not to. Had I read between the lines of what was occurring with the family dynamics I would’ve gone and prevented a massive amount of drama.
Like “they” say c’est la vie. I trusted before listening to my intuition. Instead I allowed myself to feel grief, the grief knowing my mom was fearful about being put in the hospital and never going home again and the grief of seeing her unhappiness in the memory care she was rushed into.
While I grieved I drew. Sharing this story is reconnecting me to that grief. Yuck. Not what I was expecting.
Enjoy the art. I’ll be back tomorrow.
There is a point at the end of the hallway where I can view a spectacular site in my house. When I purchased my house 6 years ago I decorated it with multicolor paintings and accessories. My heart sings everytime I see that view. I have placed artwork everywhere could…on the walls, the floor, shelves, cabinets. Everywhere I look there is color! Today I stopped and just stood there in awe as I looked at my breathtaking museum as I was in touch with the deepest of gratitude.
Gratitude is the key to the kingdom of your desires. What do you have to be thankful for at the deepest of levels? What is in your life right NOW that sparks your inner light, that places you into alignment with all your desires?
Stop right now and get in touch with what makes your heart sing. Step into it. Feel it.
If you cannot get in touch with gratitude for something in your life right now then imagine if something you treasure was taken away from you…even if only for a short while.
Go ahead right now and imagine not having something in your life that you love. It could be as simple as your bed or your pillow or your favorite chair.
How does it feel to not have that thing that you love? Step into that for just a second.
Now imagine that it has come back to you. Step into that feeling of gratitude. Can you feel it now? Sometimes just the fear of something being taken away from us can help us step into the feeling of gratitude.
What can you do to begin feeling this gratitude everyday? What do you have to be greatful for at this moment? When you are feeling gratitude you are in alignment with the universe and your desires will be attracted to you with speed.
I am now going to take a walk down to the end of my hallway.
I just received my free copy of Joe Vitale’s book, Zero Limits in the mail. When I saw that it was from Wiley and Sons I was so excited I ran into the house to open it. Zero Limits is about the ancient Hawaiian Healing Technique called Ho’oponopono (sounds like it is spelled), that he learned from Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len…yes, sounds like it is spelled 🙂
In May 2006 I had the fortune to attend Joe’s First Manifestation Weekend. I had no idea what it was about and I went anyway and am incredibly grateful.
Joe spoke to us from inspiration that weekend and it was amazing. Many miracles have come my way due to the practice of Ho’oponopono this past year, so I gave Joe a testimonial for his book. I guess they liked it because it is printed on pages 93-95.
The technique is quite simple.
You repeat these phrases: I love You – I’m Sorry – Please Forgive Me – Thank You … or you can just say one of them, which is what I usually do. Ask me which one I like to use.
You are saying these words to the divine. You really do not have to understand beyond that. Unless your intellect wants to know more…which it will.
When I attended the Zero Limits weekend in January 2007, Dr. Len gave us many other words that we could say. ..like bluebonnet and maize.
Give it a try and see what happens.
Oh! You can eat the maize (corn). I do not recommend eating the bluebonnet, though you can look at one.
I knew I always loved Hawaii 🙂
Wendy Gail Young
Master Strategic Attraction™ Coach